Perhaps it's just overkill

I have a theory that at any given moment in central Kansas, one may hit 'scan' on the radio and find at least one Def Leppard song (typically, Pour Some Sugar on Me - beautiful in all its subtleties, or Rock of Ages) and multiple conservative Christian radio programmes. I find both of these equally amusing and despite the obvious reasons, it's because Kansas feels like the land that time forgot. There are places there that do not take credit cards, and this is wholly unacceptable. No wonder they're all still into Jesus and voting Republican; the last time they checked in with the rest of the world, it was reasonably prosperous under Ronald Reagan.

Please don't write to me and explain the virtues of Kansas, if you live there, or how everyone in the state is not necessarily this way.

My brain is all over the place today and I want to write like mad. I had a dream yesterday morning about the school building that is supposed to house the DU English department but it's not Sturm. I dream this building all the time; it's reminiscent of Sturm and while I know the ED is on the 4th floor, the building is labyrinthine and if you go the wrong way on the 4th floor, you cannot get to the ED and instead will be hopelessly lost, unable to even get back outside. The elevator is worse - it's the Wonka-vator and goes in any direction and no one knows where you'll end up. This place in my dream causes me great anxiety. I wonder if it's some kind of metaphor... haha.

I ran into Lindsay two weeks ago and it was good to see her. I don't think I knew that she was still at DU, and her presence there brings me comfort because she's been there a year longer than I. I don't know how, but we got to talking about my being a nerd - liking Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter; sci-fi in general; graphic novels; Scrabble and jigsaw puzzles. She seemed shocked to learn these things and when I joked that I just hide my geekiness well, she said "I never pegged you as a nerd; more like edgy." She went on to say that I am intimidating in my edginess and this positively floored me. Sure, I'm a grouch and sometimes an outright bitch, but somehow I thought no one really noticed this. Further, before I knew her at all Lindsay intimidated me because I think she's so much smarter than I am and because at first she isn't openly friendly. Little did I know that the feeling was mutual. How odd to think about the public personae we create for ourselves and don't even know it. Why can't I seem to intimidate the people in whom I wish to breed fear of me?

See? All over the board. I dyed my hair myself this time and it is some serious color of red, let me tell you. Not just red; but RED!