I know you know I know, so what's the point in being slow

One of my favorite indulgences on television is Bridezillas. I have no idea why, really, because it embodies pretty much everything I hate about women, TV, weddings, pop culture, and shameless marketing. Yet I cannot drag myself from the idiot box when it's on. And it's always on. Today, Brandi - a 30-year-old ghetto queen who just asked if her groom's cake can be a vagina, because it will be his last "p." The next breath said she wanted a "classy" wedding. The other couple are collectively so fat and unattractive that I cannot help but wonder how - logistically speaking - they even have sex. Seriously, they actually waddle when they walk. She is one of those really large women who wears squared off acrylic nails, too much makeup, and is fairly convinced that she is a goddess. Jamison will actually rise and leave the room if I'm watching it, because he cannot even stand to tune it out while he works on the computer. I tell him that it makes his life better that I watch this because (a) it makes me never want to have a wedding of any kind, (b) makes me feel better about my bitchy days because I have nothing on these tacky bitches, and (c) I'm reminded that J-mo and I have a great relationship that has never, in all these years, included shouting, name-calling, berating, belittling, or even the threat of break-up. Sure, we have our tense moments, but we deal with them like people who love each other. The absence of this between people who are getting married astounds me.

Which gets me thinking about what I've learned about relationships, and it's really simple: they should be easy. I don't mean easy as in, we'll never have challenges, but easy as in it should feel effortless to be together so that when challenges arise, they are tackled because the core of the relationship is never a concern. I know that if Jamison and I were married to other people, we'd still be good friends. I'd still want to tell him about my wins, and be able to lament my losses, and he would be there. How cool is that? Having said this, I will also add here that it's a gift - a blessing - that we have each other and not something I consciously sought out. It's not like I had any great relationship wisdom at the time, but now that I know what it is I found, I wonder how I ever settled for anything less. And believe me, I settled pretty much every time from about high school on. I don't deserve this, but I am thankful for it, and maybe this stupid show reminds me of that which gets lost in the daily I-wish-he-would-mow-the-fucking-lawn gripes.